why did i let it happen?

i think i'm in love with you. but it can't be. you and i are just a dream. a painful but sinful dream. you and i will never make history together but i want it so. me loving you is unhealthy for me. but it doesnt matter now does it? it was just a dream.

i'm not going to be there for you anymore. when you call on me. no answer shall i return to you. when you ask for me. i'm giving up. i'm walking out. no more. enough. done.

at least i hope i am. please give me the strength i need to not fall in to sin and into the depths of darkness for i yearn for the light and have had enough of darkness.

peace............solitude.

and something inside me dies.

last night i started crying again. i cannot take this anymore. crying till the wee hours of the morning just isnt healthy... and my head hurts....so while this feeling went on i.... wroteanotherpoem.

which by the way is untitled

as i hold my head up high
i try to suppress my sigh
in light i feel embarassed
comfort i find, in darkness

tears threaten to spill
tempting it is to take a pill
obviously it's not an option
but curse the temptation

i need to find clarity
but i'm just getting by, barely...
only when i change my attitude
will i find peace and solitude

the right decisions, i need to make
before i drown deeper and deeper, into the lake.

this needs to end.. somehow.