Tuesday, August 29, 2006

we were merely freshman

the world is changing. everybody is changing. everybody is actually...... no words can describe it.

surprising actually... i mean what the world has become. it's really surprising. you wouldn't expect it to be this way but it is. Everything takes you by surprise... gosh don't you just hate that? well i dont... not really

shocked. yes.. thats what i am. shocked..... and scared to i guess. afraid if i would be sucked in to the darkness of the world. i don't know if you notice but there is so much sin everywhere!

and i'm getting really afraid because i have sinned too.... but the sin that some of the people i know have commit is scaring me.... it's not that i'm not "opened minded" heck. i'm very open minded. but now i've come to realise that it isn't a good thing. i mean the things that i am fairly comfortable with.... it isnt good. i should be stopping it. or at least try to control it from turning into a conspiracy or an epidemic.................... anyway

the rant ends here since....well just since.

ta.
i for some odd reason was letting my brain and emotions fly around again... i let it take control again today. so during break i decided to right yet another poem. and of course creep was... and is still stuck in my head the whole day. how wonderful. have half a mind to put the lyrics up in my locker [not that i look at my locker that much] but anyway...

cuts.

and the world keeps spinning
and the soil turns to dust

everything is fading
and move on we must

life is unexpected
always ready to surprise
many feel dejected
sadness, the ultimate prize

beauty in the world
turning ugly and sorrowful
happiness in a little girl
is the only thing left wonderful.

thats it. for now. when i wrote the title in my book people thought it said cats :p
toodles.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

the anthem of its time.

When you were here before,
Couldn't look you in the eyes
You're just like an angel,
your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fuckin' special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice
When I'm not around
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

She's running out the door ...
She's running out
she's run, run, run, run...
run...

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong hereI don't belong here...

salute.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

gone, done? not quite.

i suppose i may still be sad. i suppose i may still be... depressed. but what can i do? what can i say? last night caught me off guard because i sudddenly caught myself thinking about keith again and how we were..

vishal and i were on the phone just talking about how his date went and other random things. and it was those random things that broke me.
it isn't nice to have your heart broken
it isn't nice when you think something is finally going right
that all your unlucky streak is finally taking a turn
that a curse has finally been broken..

it just comes crashing again. but this isn't about keith. of course it isn't.

and the holidays are over.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

no.

i need help. it's starting up again... it shouldn't you know. it really shouldnt.

all things in my heart and mind
all things good and bad
all things right and wrong
have now spiraled out of control


nothing seems to make sense
everything's a blur
i need help
and i'm crying out for help


but no one notices
i no longer know
how long i can take this
before it consumes me
and i disappear


into the oblivion...

poems. i'm writing poems again!