panic stricken.

I do things that I'm not supposed to and I don't do things that I'm supposed to. This is really scaring me. How've been acting lately and the things that I'm doing or aren't.... I have to stop but somehow somethings you just succumb to and you know so badly that it's so extremely wrong but you can't help it....

I need to get away.... Things aren't right... the real world is too scary.... the things that people do...... the things that I do. It just isn't right. It's not supposed to be this way. This cannot be happening.

I repent.
I repent.
I repent.

My world is spinning... everything is getting way too out of hand. I can't seem to control anything anymore... My actions, My thoughts, My mind....my emotions.

everything is going awry and it's scaring me. I'm deathly afraid of what is happening to me and what is going to happen to me. And somehow i don't think there is anything out there that can help me.

Advice would never work. Scoldings would just bounce off the facade that i have on. I'm too thick skinned for my own good. I want to change so badly... so so badly. I have no idea what is holding me back...

I have literally been split in two.